Single Moms Rock!

Yesterday was a very happy day for a friend of mine, she became a home owner. A nice neat little flat in a security complex is now hers. As part of her happy Facebook status she eloquently added that she'd kicked the single mom cliche in the ass.

And as I was cyber high-5ing with her it got me thinking about my other single mom friends and their stories. They all have different stories to tell but the effects of being a mom who has to go it on her own seems to be far too similar.

While I have no personal experience to go on I am altogether aware of the difficulties, bitterness and the utter heartache that these ladies endure. What breaks my heart is that, despite having to be the bravest people I know, I have far too often heard the lament of "Who will ever want me as a single mom..? No-one will want me.."

Why does society, or is it just women, think that because you have the sole responsibility of a child you are worth less to the opposite sex?

Yes, I understand the complications of taking on someone else's child, as in the prospect of dealing with the ex indefinitely etc... And as I'm writing this I realise I might be getting myself into hot water and treading on inexperienced ground and opening myself up to much criticism.

But the passionate point I want to make is that single moms are amazing.

Moms in general should get medals but single moms... wow. I know what its like to be a mom but I am lucky enough to have a partner who can pick up when I'm too exhausted to do much of anything, who can reinforce the boundaries I'm too tired to set (yet again), to clean yet another pair of underpants. (Okay, maybe I'm on my own with that one.)
But single mothers have to do everything. And usually seem to get no thanks for it either.

At this point I also realise that their are more single moms out there than we realise, because they are still married. Many married women still bare the unfair responsibility of being the sole caregiver to a lazy/dis-interested husband's children. Yes, I see that around me too.

My girlfriends, who irrationally seem to drop their heads ever so slightly when describing themselves as single moms, are amazing, strong women. They do not need to be ashamed or apologetic about their status. That's life, relationships sometimes don't work out, you've had the guts to get out while you can, and hopefully with most of your dignity. You are not worth less, you will find a good man, and he will love your child like his own. If you just have faith. In yourself, and in God and His perfect timing.
You are such good mothers to your precious children, why keep beating yourself up for being a supposed "failure" in a relationship that you were undervalued in anyway? There will be a man that comes along and sees you for the gifts that you and your most precious little non negotiable attachments are. Just hang in there, try be patient and get on with the business that is Life.

But also remember, my sweet peas, that you are strong fierce beautiful women that I am so proud (beyond words) to be able to call my friends.