Playing trains

*"Its high time Joe gets out there and finds a job instead of staying home and playing trains."

Now this comment irked me no end. And I'll explain why and maybe put it into context.

Joe is a friend of ours, a very good friend in fact. He will give you the shirt off his back if you wanted it. A generous funny man, but at the moment he is a man struggling to launch his business. In this current economy it takes a very brave man to start his own enterprise. Nevertheless, he has a very supporting family and a devoted business-savvy wife. He will get there and reach his goals, but like everyone who has ever taken that leap of faith (and for some of us it has been a high-jump-worthy-of-gold leap of faith) launching a business and making a success and building a good name takes time.

So this is where Joe is at the moment. But Joe has a passion for model trains, collecting them, restoring them and building landscapes for his treasures to steam across. Over the years, as times have become a little tougher, he has had to sell a few of his beloved engines here and there to help make ends meet. I think each sale breaks a little of his heart, this is how much the man loves his hobby.
Lately, due to business being quiet and despite his many attempts at "making it work", he had a few weeks where things were a little dead. So he filled the hours by tinkering on his trains and getting his sons involved with his hobby. Good extra father-son bonding time. (These tough times can have some good side effects) All the while waiting for those phone calls to come in. This is where I leave Joe and start explaining why my opening sentence irked me so much.

Because I have been in Joe's situation.
I have been put on short-time, my salary has been halved due to no fault of mine and no other reason than "our business is slow and we need to cut back on all employees salaries", because my boss would rather keep his employees employed than have to retrench any of us. We have all been in the same boat and have all felt like we have had to take several steps back in our lives and "tighten the proverbial belt".
That being the case, my waist should look like Barbie's by now.

Even though my personal situation  has improved I have also known what its like to be sitting at home waiting for that call to come in asking for me to come in for a much needed job with a much needed wage attached to it.
I know the utter anxiety knowing that every minute I am at home means another minute that I can't put on my timesheet which means less of a salary at the end of the month, that every moment that I am sitting on the couch "taking it easy" means less salary to try cover all my comittments with. It is very easily the most stressful time I have ever experienced.

On top of it I had navigate the overwhelmingly new waters of having to care for a newborn son. To top it all, we had also taken our own gigantic leap of faith (another blog another time) and The Darling Husband had launched his own cleaning business too. Hectic days.

But if you have not been through these trying circumstances, where your every penny has to work doubly hard, where you have to cut back and live more simply, where you open your grocery cupboard and are once again reminded of Mother Hubbard, you will not know that "playing trains", be it a hobby, (mine was gardening), excercising or watching tv, is a necessary escape. It is a vital defense system. After doing your utmost to keep yourself positive, send out your cv, reconnect with previous clients and just making sure your name is out there, the only other thing you can do is wait.
And wait.

And a comment like that* is very insensitive and undermining.

For some of us the waiting is thankfully not too long. But while waiting it is so important to keep yourself occupied.

Or else you will make yourself crazy. Utterly nuts. And I have come close.


But this piece is not about my or Joe's pity party, or wanting sympathy or anyone feeling sorry for us. This is about knowing these times are just a season in our lives, that we will succeed in our particular endeavours and we will make it through to the other side. We have taken steps of faith and are getting through with God's grace alone.
Until then I will continue to play trains and enjoy my garden.