"Babe, can you rather not use the shampoo for bubble bath."
"Its just for some bubbles"
"Yes, but thats an expensive shampoo, rather use the shower gel if you think Luke needs bubbles."
"I remember as a boy I always loved bubbles in my bath.. etc.. blah blah"
"Yes, but then use the other stuff, please."
"Look, when you go shopping again just try to think about Lukey sometimes, ok*?"
WHAAAAT?!! WTF?? Despite wanting to punch him till his arm fell off, all I did was just gape at him and burst into tears and storm upstairs.
How could he say that to me?
Because all I ever do is think about Luke. All the time.
From the moment I open my bleary eyes in the morning to the last exhausted minute before my beloved bedtime, and even if I happen to wake up during the night.
Has he kicked off his duvet?
Is he warm enough?
(getting up to check and pull duvet up over sleeping child)
Has he wet himself, do I need to change him?
Have I got his juice beside my bed for him when he comes to us in the morning?
Where is his favourite teddy?
What clothes should I set out for him?
Is his face clean enough to go out in public?
I need to scrub his shoes again.
Have I packed enough fresh undies and shorts and nappies in for him?
Lunchbox - check.
I need to buy more biscuits and fruit.
Will I get him to school on time? No time for tantrums, boy. Breakfast is waiting.
Is he enjoying his day at school?
What shall I make him for dinner and do I have anything at home, should I go to the shop or can he have peanut butter sandwiches for supper? Again.
If I'm stuck in traffic is the Husband free to collect the Boy?
Am I on time to pick him up? I don't want him to be the last child left at the creche.
Am I going to make it home in time for a toilet break, will he make it home in time?
Is the geyser on for evening bathtime?
Clean pyjamas, yes, top and bottom don't match but who cares, no-ones coming to visit tonight.
Dinner. Has he eaten enough? And is it reasonably healthy?
Are we letting him watch too much TV?
Am I corrupting him with sweet bribery for potty training?
Am I turning him into a brat by giving in to his tantrum?
Is it bedtime yet? (oh please, oh please...)
I need to change his sheet first. Go get a fresh one off the wash-line.
Right, where's the favourite teddy again?
Goodnight, sleep well, my angel.
Now Mommy is going to finish her glass of wine and possibly have some dinner too.
Is he crying? Let me quickly check.
Did I put the cushions on the floor so that if he rolls off the bed he doesn't crack his head open?
Is he warm enough?
Has he kicked off his duvet?.....
He is all I ever think about and that is what hurt so much, that someone so close could suggest that I don't think about or care enough about my child to buy simple bubble bath for him. Really?
Because I'm too bloody busy thinking about the number of nappies we have before we run out, do we have enough stuff for lunch boxes and the pile of clean clothes I have to iron for school! Things a little higher up on my priority list and of more importance.
All is forgiven, for now.
And an industrial size bottle of Ocean Breeze foam bath now adorns the bathroom shelf.
See I do care. Really.
And the Husband's bruises have almost healed.
* the Husband did apologize and explain that that wasn't what he meant, that "could I buy some bubble bath when I'm next in the shops"... too late, my heart was still hurt.
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| "What!! No bubbles??!! |
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